i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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