i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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