You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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