These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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