She just used a chaser for red wine.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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