Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
