I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
