It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
