he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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