I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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