he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
