Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
