I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
