dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
