i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Randomize
