Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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