i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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