You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
