I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
