God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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