Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
