SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
