I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
