Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
