Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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