I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
