worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
