So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
