I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
