A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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