he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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