just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
