The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Is it because I queefed?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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