they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
