I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
