pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
