Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
