get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i dont even know how to be here
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
