So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
