but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
