ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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