put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
