I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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