so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
