love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
