I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
