I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
