I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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