I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
