It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
