we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
