You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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